so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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