Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize