Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
