Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Let the clothes fall where they may.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
