And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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