I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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