does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
