Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
