She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
