so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
