I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize