Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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