Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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