do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize