I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
