are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
