tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
