Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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