her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
