I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
