dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
