This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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