Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
