I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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