Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
