i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
