When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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