toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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