batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
