YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
