She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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