So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
