Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
