awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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