My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
