he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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