Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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