The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This is the high leading the old right now
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
