i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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