Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just puked most of my soul out..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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