I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
