he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just had sex on a roof
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
