ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
