David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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