If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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