when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
4 words: hood of his car
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
