I am puke
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
