Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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