If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
