haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
