Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
