dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
