I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
