Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
