Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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